patron-saint-of-smart-asses:

american cryptid: seventeen terrifying demons accosted me in my woodland shed and i kilt ‘em all with my scattergun

european cryptid: legends say a terrifying beast lives in the loch… an ancient and spiritual faerie, don’t go out in the woods at night or lest ye be scurried away by the mushrooms

japanese cryptid: one time i saw a really fat snake