To People Who Hate This Blog:

holy-sexuality:

Emerald here.

We have noticed that whenever we give tips for female orgasm, we receive a lot of criticisms over these tips. Considering that we always give advice in line with Church Teaching about sex, it is deeply concerning that our encouraging couples to help women orgasm (an activity that is frequently difficult for women) is being overanalyzed by fellow believers.

We find that our critics (who, interestingly, are overwhelmingly unmarried men) sound something like this: If the wife orgasms, well, good, I guess, but since that’s not technically necessary, it shouldn’t be a goal achievable by toys or sex tips. Certainly not something to consider a problem if it repeatedly doesn’t happen. 

And the rules! So many rules! No oral foreplay, no digital stimulation, no stimulation of non-sexual organs or orifices, no fantasy play, no toys, no no no no no no no no no no no NO NO NO NO N 

They’re making this up. This. Is. Legalism.
It’s not in Scripture.
It’s not in the catechism.
It’s not in encyclicals. 

Those three sources of esteemed ecclesiastical law and sound advice tell us to a) have sex with our spouses and them only, b) keep sex unitive and life-welcoming, and c) don’t degrade the other person. 

That’s it. Honest. You can have sex on Sundays and Holy Days. You can have sex on Good Friday. You can have sex when you’re on your period. You can bring a vibrator into bed. You can put on little outfits and be silly. You can ask your husband to kiss this or lick that. You can choose to not have sex because you don’t want kids. You can experience the wonderful gift of sex and, dare I say, enjoy it. 

We are not saying you can use toys to masturbate, or that you have free range on gross kinks. We’re just saying that using tools to help natural, normal intercourse acheive orgasm in a woman can be just that: a helpful tool. 

This is not something we are going back on, because there is nothing wrong with it.