35 [Jesus] said to them, “When I sent you out without a purse, bag, or sandals, did you lack anything?” They said, “No, not a thing.” 36 He
said to them, “But now, the one who has a purse must take it, and
likewise a bag. And the one who has no sword must sell his cloak and buy
one. 37 For
I tell you, this scripture must be fulfilled in me, ‘And he was counted
among the lawless’; and indeed what is written about me is being
fulfilled.” 38 They said, “Lord, look, here are two swords.” He replied, “It is enough.”
I think it’s more of a foreshadowing to Christ’s coming prophecy (as they only had two swords for 11 or so men, not enough to defend Him with), though certainly it shows that Christianity is, at the least, not inherently anti-weapon/self-defense.
It’s not heretical to be anti or pro gun. I think most Christians tend to be pro-gun since most Christians also happen to be conservative, or live in areas where guns are a normal part of the culture.
why are christians conservative? jesus was a hippie who said feed the hungry, shelter the homeless, and so on…
Conservatives donate and volunteer more for charity than progressives do, thanks in part of most of them being religious in some way and believing they have an obligation to do so. Most conservative-leaning Christians just dislike the idea of the government forcing people to pay for it with taxes since 1) taxes suck and hold a lot of people back financially, causing some to be in need to begin with, and 2) the government absolutely sucks at managing most things, including their own welfare programs. Their bureacracy is overbloated, and much of their funds are lost in that chain. Hence, why they lean conservative in those regards.
Also, and on a final note: trying to apply Christianity, or any religion, to one political system is flawed, as such systems are beyond politics. This goes for left leaning or right leaning politics.
Also, Jesus was in no way a hippie. That idea comes straight from the existence of “Jesus Christ Superstar” and is bad Theology.
He is constantly talked about as fairly unassuming in appearance, He didn’t reject conventional values so much as corrected the legalism that took hold and fulfilled the Prophesies of Salvation, and He also didn’t take drugs.
what do you think of when I say the phrase “the world’s largest turtle”? an ancient shelled beast, dragging its immense bulk slowly across an uninhabited island somewhere while invasive mammals prey on its vulnerable young? well, that’s usually the case, so I’ll forgive you this time but this is your final warning. because the world’s largest turtle is actually a sleek instrument of jellyfish mass murder the size of a fucking sedan.
put your hands together and make sure you have no jellyfish or jellyfish-like objects on your person, because it’s-
I meant that bit about no jellyfish, I will NOT be held responsible for lost fingers!
the Leatherback is a sea turtle, but one built on a scale so over-the-top-absurd that it’s hard to believe this thing is even in the same general class as your humble everyday pond turtle. god looked down into the ocean one day and told the Leatherback to tone it down a bit because it was making whales feel inadequate. but the Leatherback did not, because the only emotion they can feel is a burning hunger for the living flesh of jellyfish.
and (almost) none of this is an exaggeration, because Leatherbacks can grow to over seven feet long, (as long as Mr. Shaquille O’Neal if you politely asked him to lie down) and can weigh over 1500 pounds! (as much as one grand piano and then half of another grand piano) that’s too large to park on the street in some cities. this incredible size makes them the third largest reptile on the planet, behind a couple of crocodiles who don’t know what they have going for them.
those crocodiles also don’t know that you never want a Leatherback to be directly behind you.
Leatherbacks inhabit every tropical and temperate ocean in the world, and are also sometimes called Luths. (luth is an old-timey bullshit word for “lute”.) they got both names because they lack the traditional hard shell of most turtles, instead having a shell made of thick leathery hide stretched over a bone scaffolding. kind of like an umbrella, I guess, if the umbrella was the size of a car and also very much wanted to bite you. this leathery shell gave Leatherbacks their common name, and also kind of looks like a lute if you’re an 18th century sailor and half-blind from scurvy.
this light flexible shell makes Leatherbacks much lighter, faster, and more agile than a traditional sea turtle. and they abuse the HELL out of this, let me tell you.
a bunch of griefers, that’s what they are.
you don’t normally think “jesus christ that thing can really move” when you think about a turtle, but Leatherbacks are a definite exception. we’re talking speeds upwards of Mach Fuck and well into Dude, Holy Shit territory, here.
Leatherbacks generally cruise along at a fairly zippy 6 mph, but they can and do reach upwards of 22 mph when they feel like it. this might not seem that fast, but imagine an armored aquatic tank bearing down on your feeble human body faster than you can run. and if sheer speed alone doesn’t impress you, Leatherbacks are also capable of turning on a dime. there’s no escape from these incredible ocean bastards!
hold me closer, ocean bastard.
that’s right, Leatherbacks are fast, agile, and extremely aggressive.
adult Leatherbacks have been known to go after sharks, dolphins, human divers, other sea turtles, dogs, and basically anything else that enters the Eternal Turtle Rage zone. they’ve even gone after boats full of terrified researchers!
and you absolutely DO NOT want this to be happening to you, because Leatherbacks pack a gigantic and powerful beak that can snip your arms off like an arborist pruning a sapling. their monstrous bite shears through flesh, bone, and anyone or anything unlucky enough to be on the wrong end of the Leatherback on a bad day. their rage is unyielding and unending.
Leatherback don’t care, Leatherback SMASH.
but usually Leatherbacks aren’t disassembling boat engines with their terrible beak, but horking down huge amounts of soft-bodied animals like jellyfish, squid, and tunicates. they often dive to depths of over 4,000 feet to get these squishy lunches, which is far deeper than any other reptile can manage. the deep ocean is just too cold for other sea turtles to manage, so how do Leatherbacks do it? well, it’s simple: they’re warm-blooded.
Leatherbacks keep a constant body temperature up to 32 degrees higher than the surrounding sea water. this allows them to be active, vicious predators ready to attack a boat full of innocent researchers at a moment’s notice. but what’s REALLY weird is how they pull this body heat trick off- instead of modulating their metabolism like a mammal does, they stay warm by just never sitting fucking still.
they’ve had too much coffee today, and everyday, and forever.
Leatherbacks are actively moving almost all the time, a trait almost never seen in a reptile. instead of resting often and conserving their energy like other turtles, Leatherbacks just thrash all over the place like spastic toddlers and use the heat generated by their muscles to warm their bodies. it’s estimated that Leatherbacks are actually holding still and at rest just 0.1% of the time!
but this weird trick works really well and offer similar results to a more traditional warm-blooded system like your own! and to top this party of bizarre body functions and eternal turtle rage, the inside of their beaks and throats are hyperspecialized to help them hold on to soft, slippery, squishy animals they eat so much of.
they got spikes in there, is what I’m saying.
*distant jellyfish screams*
but through no fault of their own, Leatherbacks are in trouble. and it’s because we keep wrecking their nests and throwing plastic into the ocean. Leatherbacks lay their eggs in the sand like other sea turtles, and these eggs are often either dug up deliberately or accidentally stepped on despite their protected status. but it’s the plastic that’s the real problem.
as I’ve said, Leatherbacks like to eat jellyfish. and if you’re a sea turtle, a floating plastic bag just looks like a new and possibly delicious flavor of jellyfish. but unfortunately for Leatherbacks, eating enough plastic bags will kill you. (please don’t try this one at home.)
Leatherbacks need their breeding beaches to be better protected, but they also need people to quit throwing trash in the ocean. so the next time you’re on a protected turtle beach, watch where you step, and WATCH WHERE YOU THROW YOUR TRASH. hopefully these bad-tempered reptilian powerhouses can make a full recovery if we all keep this in mind. thanks, Leatherback! please do NOT bite me.
Leatherback thank you! Leatherback NOT bite your arms off.
–
thanks for reading! you can find the rest of the Weird Biology series on my tumblr here, or check out the official archive at weirdbiology.com!
if you enjoy my work, maybe buy me a coffee and support Weird Biology!
and if you’d like to see exclusive Weird Biology content, check out my Patreon today!
–
IMAGE SOURCES
img1- seaturtlecamp.com img2- National Marine Life Center img3- Project Navigation img4- divephotoguide.com img5- National Wildlife Federation img6- PlanetSave img7- GistOnThis img8- The Conversation
You know Bunjy, between this monster and the sloftshell turtle you did earlier, I’m developing a child-like overwhelming terror and worshipful fascination of “Soft” Turtles.
Daily reminder that “Missing Person” posts are a common and often effective method that abusers use to find their victims that have run away from them. Also used to find people in the witness protection program.
If you see a “missing person” post with a number that is not just 911 on it, be very wary. And if you do see someone who is supposedly missing, call the police, NOT the number provided on the post. I trust the police as little as anyone but they’ll at least be able to tell you if that person is actually missing and it has less of a chance of giving information to a possible abuser.
A couple of red flags I’ve noticed:
Abusers claiming their victims are mentally ill or schizophrenic, to explain why they might not want to come back
Abusers giving any excuse to explain why their victims may not come back really
Abusers telling you not to approach their victims if you see them, or limit your communication with them
Abusers telling you not to mention them to their victims at all
Abusers claiming that their victims aren’t safe with their family or friends
Abusers claiming their victims are being threatened away from them
(Feel free to add on)
Add-ons to the list of red flags from my mother, a psychologist who has worked with victims of domestic abuse:
Abusers claiming their victim has a history of self-harm that leaves bruises is always a red flag (except in the case of autistic children, but even then, call 911, not the abuser)
Abusers claiming their (POC) victim doesn’t understand English and so you shouldn’t try to communicate with them/trust anything they say is not uncommon for human traffickers
Abusers claiming their victim has a history of making things up for attention or to get their way, tacitly implying you shouldn’t listen to them when they express fear or disclose their abusive situation to you
Posters lacking a last name are inherently not to be trusted. The lack of a surname is there to keep you from looking the person up in other databases and finding out they’ve been listed as missing by their family/the police.
Posters that put any character smears – mental illness, drug use, etc. – out about the victim are trying to make you predisposed to not communicating with or trusting the victim so you won’t believe anything they say. Treat this as a flashing neon red flag and call the police.
My mother would also like to note that taking a picture of the poster or tearing it down and turning it in to police can be very useful to them when they’re trying to build cases against abusers so if that’s at all possible for you, by all means do it.
You’re speaking to a mother who’s had numerous ups and downs financially, with two kids in tow. The cost for caring for my kids was low on my list because they are no where near as expensive as you think. Our main worry was just buying food for ALL of us, kid or adult, or finding shelter for ALL of us.
No one is “forced” to have kids, even in cases of conception by rape. Parents have the option to have someone adopt their child (and while I don’t advocate nor support it, abortion is legal in all 50 states), or to give their child up to the state if the child is older (where they are often given to blood relatives).
Also do you know how many “unwanted” animals are in shelters? How many exotic pets are abandoned, how many feral animals that live outdoors, and wreak havoc on the ecosystem? Of how much vet bills cost if you want to give your pet a truly top notch quality of life? Do you know how much ANY of that costs, whether personally or to the taxpayer?
It’s clear you know nothing about either animals nor children.
That doesn’t make humans lower in dignity to animals, nor does it make animals less of a challenge to care for.
I have a degree in developmental psychology and my job is to work with kids, and this is BS.
Children don’t act out because they are “being awful by choice.” They are trying to communicate their needs in the only way they know how.
When the little girl I watch throws her dinner on the floor for the third time, she is not thinking “heh, let me make a mess for her to clean up.” She is telling me “I’ve been trying to tell you for many minutes now that I am full/will not eat any more of this, so this will get my point across better.”
Her big sister can sometimes have an “attitude” – be defiant, act out, etc. She used to really get on my nerves and even with all my training, I would view her as “naughty” – until now, as a preteen, she literally told me that she used to do that to get attention when my focus was always on the baby. All she wanted was love.
When volunteering at the hospital today, a little boy was being defiant in the playroom and literally screamed at the top of his lungs if I tried to tell him what to do in any way. His sister is ill in the hospital and everyone is ignoring him or bossing him around. He had hit his breaking point and that was his way of letting me know.
If anything, it is adults like some who have been responding to Ginny’s post who view kids as inherently bad or gross that can’t understand how children communicate and ignore their developmental, emotional, and psychological needs to the point that these adults push kids to exhibit “naughty” behavior.