mememic-bry:

the media doesn’t want you to know that we exist.

the media will not acknowledge the presence of gay Christians who have chosen celibacy, or bi Christians who have chosen to renounce same-sex romantic relationships, entirely of their own volition.

according to the popular narrative, a queer Christian must have their sexuality fully affirmed and celebrated in a progressive church with the tagline “this is what REAL Christians act like!” if this is not affirmed, they must seethe and suffer and spend their whole existence trying to suppress any and all aspects of themselves they have been told are wicked, before ultimately exploding and leaving their church to be Free and Totally Themselves. 

there is apparently no such thing as a Christian who chooses not to act on their desires out of love for the Lord, and is truly okay with it. 

we don’t and can’t exist, because we don’t fit the narrative.

I’ve never been to conversion therapy- I actually loathe the very concept of it. I don’t hate myself. I’m not disgusted at my “bi-ness”. nobody pressured or forced me to make the decisions I’ve made.

I love the Lord. I’ve read the Scriptures. I know what they say. I’ve carefully weighed the alternate, more liberal interpretations, and found them lacking in hermeneutical integrity. 

and so, because I love the Lord, and because I believe His Word, I willingly give up the possibility of ever having a romantic relationship with a woman. I actively fight against lusftul thoughts regarding both men and women – something every Christian should do anyway. and… it doesn’t tear me up inside. it’s not always an easy path, sure. sometimes I wish I could date whoever I want- and that doesn’t just include girls. but you know? I think Christ is better. I think He’s worth it. and this is the path I chose, out of love, and because He loves me. it’s that simple.

the thing that does truly eat me up inside? is the total unwillingness from both the media and a decent portion of the church to acknowledge that I exist. that we exist, our experiences exist. that my desires are what they are, and I don’t need to try to force them out of me, but I don’t need to act on them either. they are just desires. they are merely feelings. and my real identity isn’t in how I feel on any given day, it’s in Christ. nobody led me to that realization but Christ Himself, and it’s been a freeing and healing revelation.

I’m here, and there are countless others like me. but.

we will not be represented in the news. there won’t be characters like us in movies or shows or books. we must be tortured souls raging against the throes of organized religion, or free to act as we please at any time. there is no room in the narrative for a picture of submission that isn’t terribly unhealthy. and we’re lucky if pastors know how to talk about us either, if they realize we exist at all.

there’s no room for us in the media. the Body of Christ struggles to make room.

but we’re here. whether anyone is comfortable with it or not.