Wow this is the worst post secret I’ve ever seen and I’m irrationally upset about it
Like way to use your wife for sexual pleasure while she’s likely grieving and worried about infertility? Do you not understand that you are putting her through undue distress? And secretly and casually celebrating it with no remorse? How gross!
I’d say this upset is plenty rational, no worries
Putting someone through the absolute torture of infertility is just sadistic and evil. This is abuse if not some type of rape/assault and I hope she finds out, leaves him, and gets full custody and an amazing settlement.
Oh, come on. Its a shitty thing to do, but its not abuse, and it’s DEFINITELY not rape
Rape is unlawful
sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or
under threat of injury against a person’s will or with a person who is
beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent because of mental
illness, mental deficiency, intoxication, unconsciousness, or deception. This includes withholding information from them to get them to have sex with you when they otherwise wouldn’t.
Abuse is the cruelor violent mistreatment of a person, which includes lying to them for sexual gain. One may even call this situation emotional abuse, if not sexual, as he is putting her through the grief of perceived infertility. Pretty sure that qualifies as cruel.
Please be miserable somewhere else if you have nothing productive to say.
Definitions from Merriam-Webster and google, respectively.
Why do you think he’s telling her that she’s infertile? I never got this. Every time a couple can’t conceive, everyone says its the woman who can’t concieve. He’s not “putting her through the grief of perceived infertility” unless he’s telling her that she can’t concieve. If she thinks she’s infertile, that’s not his fault unless he’s telling her she is.
And she’s not incapable of valid consent. He’s not coercing her, she’s not mentally deficient. If you tell someone that you’re a millionaire to get them to sleep with you, you’re not raping them. You’re using them, absolutely – its a shit thing to do to someone – but it isnt abuse or rape. That’s far too heavy a word to just throw around.
What other answer is the woman going to come to? They can’t afford fertility tests and her husband hasn’t told her he got surgery done. They have a child, so she knows he’s fertile. In her mind the only conclusion she could come to is that there was an unforeseen complication with the firs pregnancy that affected her pregnancy. So since he’s keeping the secret that he got a surgery that ends his fertility, he’s letting her think he’s still as fertile as he ever was and she’d be the only one of the two whose had a physical change since their first kid. So she thinks she’s infertile cause it’s the only logical conclusion she could come to with the info at hand, thus a lie by omition. This is also assuming she wouldn’t wonder allowed about fertility when they are having sex regularly and not conceiving and the man who would keep a surgery like a vasectomy secret wouldn’t also lie to protect his “plan”
She is in fact incapable of full consent given she doesn’t know this sex is incapable of producing children and that is one of the contingencies she desires from it. His wording clearly makes it sound that they wouldn’t be having sex as much as they are if she didn’t think it would yield a child. So it is coercion because it’s essentially saying “maybe this time the sperm and egg will meet” and the person in questions knows full well there is zero sperm involved in this and the other person doesn’t.
If a women lied and said she was on birth control and had a kid and naturally asked for child support I think a lot more people would be pissed. Of course both situations are equally despicable
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