Why Everything You Know About Vikings Is A Lie
True story – There are historical accounts (well, there’s at least one historical account) in which English people whine about how the Norse men bathe so often they’re able to seduce the local women away from their husbands.
^^^ Yep. Turns out the women were way more into the hot well groomed muscular dudes who liked to smell nice.
*Hot, well groomed men who liked to smell nice and knew their way around sharp objects.
“I just don’t know why you couldn’t marry a local boy sweetie.”
“What can I say dad, Hjalmar bathes regularly, smells nice, has shoulders, can wield a sword and can wield his sword ifyaknowwhatImean, and when he comes back from raids likes to shower me in rare gifts from overseas. Look at this necklace! The amber beads came from the lands of the Rus! Also, he’s teaching me how to shoot a bow and use a spear because he thinks it might be nice if I could go on raids too someday.”
I mean, frankly, if I wasn’t already married, I would marry Hjalmar, too.
Yeah sure they were feminist to their own people but Odin help the victims of their raids.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Vikings, but let’s not pretend they were a progressive angelic culture.
Also, are we looking at pre-conversion or post-conversion Vikings?
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