This sounds like you need counseling. Your therapist can get to know you, and teach you how to cope healthfully and eventually come out stronger for it.
If you are a student in high school or in college, your campus should have a counselor or therapist you can talk with, and they can refer you to other professionals if needed. Otherwise, you can find low cost therapy through your local diocese’s Catholic Charities if money is an issue!
-PSOSA